I analyze myself a lot. I want to understand my own psyche and what it means to be human. So today I asked myself, who am I?
The first thing I notice is that my emotions are always changing. Whatever emotion I'm feeling today, this is who I am for the day.
If I am happy, I will smile more, be friendly to others, be more energetic etc. If I am sad, I will be more reserved, have less energy and not be very good company to others.
Having said that, could it be that my personality is based on the combination of my current emotional state and my memories? That would make me say the things I say, do the things I do and ultimately be the person I think I am.
Therefore my personality could just be this string of emotional states.
The trippy thing is this: I am observing
these changes in emotions.
If I can observe how I am feeling. Who is the observer?
Let me repeat that…
If I observe how I am feeling. Who is the observer?
Am I the observer? Then what am I looking at when I observe myself?
Meditating on this I realized one thing. I am the observer. I am this consciousness becoming aware of itself. My personality is an illusion. My personality is just this image created from the combination of my memories and current emotional state. It is not real.
I don't believe in my personality anymore. I am not these changing emotions. I am the consciousness experiencing these emotions. It's just a game I'm playing now. It's just a game we're all playing.
We are all the observer.
And this is, I believe, is God.
Or maybe I'm just crazy 😉